


From End to Start

by Anonymous



Category: X-Men - All Media Types, X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Canon Compliant, Closure, Gen, M/M, Sadness and acceptance, Shuffle Challenge, music meme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-04
Updated: 2012-03-04
Packaged: 2017-11-01 02:54:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/351147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A handful of connected Charles/Erik drabbles, starting just prior to the beginning of the end, and ending just after the beginnings of closure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	From End to Start

**Author's Note:**

> I'm trying to coax myself back into writing after a long absence, so I decided to try my hand at a shuffle challenge/music meme. The rules are posted at the end, in case you feel like giving it a go.

Don’t Leave Home- Dido:

            When Erik wakes in the small hours of the morning, Charles is there. How he got there, Erik isn’t quite sure, and he almost wishes the smaller man would go. Almost. But there’s something about Charles—sneaky, heat-seeking, pure and devilish in turns—and Erik can’t bring himself to tell the man off. Charles has seen him at his absolute worst, thrashing out and furious at the whole world: dangerous, and Charles has loved him even then. And the thought of this reminds Erik that he’d be devastated to lose Charles: that he _needs_ Charles. So Erik wraps himself tightly around the telepath, and he doesn’t let go until Charles stirs and the day begins in earnest.

 

American Honey- Lady Antebellum:

            The last day of August is dusty and sweet. Charles and Erik take the car out and they just drive, aimless and laughing. It’s too hot by far, and Charles’ face is burnt red by the end of the day, but it’s worth it. They pull over at an empty field and lie down to watch the clouds. Charles points out that one looks like a castle, and Erik insists that it’s a fleet of conquering ships. Erik sees a grinning skull; Charles sees a dancing child. They argue constantly, but today, they only bicker over shapes in the air, and their words don’t mean a thing. None of it matters here. It’s just the two of them, and they’re safe, and they’re together.

            They stay that way as the sun begins to set, and then as it fades from glowing pink to dusky violet-blue. They stay that way until faint stars poke out through the warm and hazy air. At last, they leave the open grass, packing into the car again. They drive home in silence, just listening to the sounds of crickets and the air coming through the open windows. It’s the last full day of peace they’ll have before they’ll leave for Cuba, and everything will change.

 

Idiotique- Radiohead:

            Sometimes, Erik wishes he could shake some sense into Charles. The man’s idealism is touching, and wonderful, and it’s such an integral part of him. And yet, for all that, Erik wishes he could tear it all away. He knows that the real world is out there, fighting against him and the others like him, and it’s not the world that Charles believes in. The humans’ attacks are already beginning, whether Charles will admit it or not, and the mutants must be ready. There is no other option.

\--- --- ---

            Being away from the Westchester mansion is delightfully freeing. At last, he can express his every doubt, and he knows that the others will heed his words. No one will stop him here. No one dares to, and it’s not because they’re afraid of him; it’s because they know he’s right. Here, with his Brotherhood, he can just be himself for once. There’s no talk of what he might have been had things been different, nor is there discussion of what he may become. No one speaks of potential or possibility in this fortress of solid, present fact. Here, he simply is what he is, man and weapon.

 

Winter- Tori Amos:

            The first snow is always beautiful, but today that beauty doesn’t cheer Charles like it always has in the past. He watches the flakes fall and remembers all the little things—the details that made up his former life. There’s Raven playing, building a snowman, seated on a saucer and speeding downhill, blond hair all over the place in the wind... There’s Erik running ahead of him, all sharp glinting grins, a touch red in the face from the cold air. He’s so vibrantly alive and whole, at peace, if only for this one moment...

Charles wheels his chair to the window, and he wonders what will happen to him now. People get this idea that telepaths know everything, but he doesn’t. Not at all. He wasn’t expecting them to leave Westchester. Looking back, he knows that he just refused to believe. The signs were always there. He remembers Raven storming away from him, muttering, glaring, blue and red and furious. He remembers his last fight with Erik, how even on the beach, he somehow always thought the man would stay. He remembers telling both of them “I love you” and he remembers how they returned those words. Once, he thought they’d all be a family forever. He’s not sure he believes in forever anymore.

 

 

Your Cloud- Tori Amos:

            Erik sits in his study. It’s midday, but with the lights off, and the sky so grey and dark, it looks much later. It feels late, too. It always feels late. He’s got things to do, battles to plan, but nothing is coming to him now. His heart and mind are still full and buzzing with the cause, but some essential part of him is far away.

Raven—Mystique, now—is with the others. He’s glad that his second in command is someone he can trust so thoroughly, and indeed, the two of them are very close. She’s his sounding board, his companion, his lieutenant; she’s the best ally he’s got. Still, it’s painful to see her day after day, and not just because she reminds him of the life he might have had if everything had been different. Her eyes have hardened since he first met her. The yellow seems faded, somehow. Her mouth is set in a taught line, more often than not. The struggle is wearing her down, it seems. And when he looks at her, he knows he’s also seeing his own haggard form mirrored back.

 

What Do I Get?- The Buzzcocks:

            Sometimes, the world is utterly unfair. Charles has been working himself into exhaustion and at the end of the day, he still goes to a cold and empty bed. Sometimes, he can’t even muster the energy to be morose. He’s just plain pissed off. He’s tired of being the reasonable adult. He’s too young to be this damn old. He’s petulant, and bitter, and furious that the people he loves always seem to vanish in the end. Sometimes, he feels so brittle that he worries he will break.  Sometimes, he wakes up just as tired as he was when he fell asleep.

 

Little Things- Chantal Kreviazuk:

            Erik is almost surprised that he still misses the others in Westchester. Almost. There are moments when the pangs of loss kick in and he remembers pushing Sean off the satellite and watching him fly, seeing the confidence in Hank’s eyes as he flew the jet, witnessing Alex’s transition from a suspicious loner to the member of a powerful team… And there’s always Charles. Charles seated beside him, Charles on the other side of the chessboard, Charles with his legs tangled with Erik’s in bed.

Erik’s never doubted that he made the right choice in parting ways. He wishes there had been a better time and place to leave, but he can’t think of one, and there’s nothing he can do about it now, anyway. But Erik his Brothers and Sisters, and his cause, and these mean the world to him. He throws himself into strategy sessions, he collects allies, and he makes impassioned speeches. He does everything he can to insure the safety of his people, and he revels in what he can accomplish.

 

Three Hits- Indigo Girls:

            The world turns, and life goes on. Charles begins to come to terms with how his body has changed, and more importantly, how his world had changed. Most of all, he learns to cherish the things that have stayed the same. He still has Hank, Sean, and Alex, and the young men astonish him with their resilience and bravery. In them, he sees the future that he’s working towards: a world where mutant children can grow up to be strong, healthy, compassionate adults. He returns his focus to where it belongs—paving the way for peace.

He seeks out young mutants, lost, hurt, confused, and he teaches them that they can be more than that. He urges them to learn to use their gifts, to see that they _are_ gifts, and to put them to use helping others. He teaches them that their anger and pain can be tools for good, if they can channel it into a desire to heal, to make the world a better one. He says, “Yes, we have suffered, but we can draw strength from our struggles and band together to insure that the suffering ends.”

Every now and then, he lets himself hope that when the future comes, they’ll all be together again. He doesn’t expect it to happen, but he isn’t ready to let go just yet. Still, at the end of each day, he knows he’s one day closer to achieving his dream, and for now, that’s good enough.

**Author's Note:**

> This is what happens when I attempt writing memes: I cheat. That said, I still ended up with something I'm pleased with. Here are the rules I was supposed to follow:
> 
> Music Meme  
> 1\. Pick a character, pairing, or fandom you like.  
> 2\. Turn on your music player and put it on random/shuffle.  
> 3\. Write a drabble related to each song that plays. You only have the time frame of the song to finish the drabble; you start when the song starts, and stop when it's over. No lingering afterwards!
> 
> Because I cheat, I went back and edited the drabbles, added to them, and rearranged the order. Aren't I evil.


End file.
